Breaking: Rob Gronkowski Passes the Third Grade

In a stunning new development, Rob Gronkowski has passed the third grade. His graduation came as a result of his passing grade on the final spelling test of the year, in which Gronkowski was able to correctly spell the word “fan.”

Gronkowski’s mother, Diane, said — while emphatically crying tears of joy, “I never thought he’d do it. This is the proudest of him I’ve ever been.”

Gronkowski’s teacher, Ms. Janson, said, “Robby was a very good boy. He always played nice with the other children and shared all of his juice-boxes and lunchables. One day he will grow up to be a nice young man.”

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